i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
