Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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