Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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