I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
