My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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