is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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