have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize