Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
