Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
