Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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