I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
