why didn't you poke me back
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
