Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
