I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
