i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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