You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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