just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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