That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize