I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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