we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
