just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
