I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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