I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
