Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
