I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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