guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
