all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
