dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
