got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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