is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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