Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
