false alarm. still invincible.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
