non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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