I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
