It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My vagina is officially offended.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
