No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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