Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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