i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
