btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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