Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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