i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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