i came on her dog
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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