just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
