You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
