stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
