time to smoke my breakfast
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
