There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
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I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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