i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
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I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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