Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
