Midget sex pt 2 tonight
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
