dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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