If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
