I'm really into asian looking animals
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
