I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
