You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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