operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm passing your future prison.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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