I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
