Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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