They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
