What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
