If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
