I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
