Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.