Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ðð