Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..