I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?